Tara and Heath Carey cling to the hope of having
more children, the only way to fill the void created by the death of their
two young daughters.
There's only one problem. Heath Carey, 26, had a vasectomy last
September.
Now that both their daughters are gone, the young couple is praying the
procedure can be reversed.
"That's their priority in life right now - to have a family
again," said Cindy Germain of Milford, Tara Carey's mother.
"Maybe holding something new and full of life will help them."
Iris, 4, and Violet Carey, 5 1/2, died on July 24 when their Hopkinton
apartment blew up. Iris suffered from cardiac arrest. Violet died of
injuries after being pinned under a bureau and lumber. The girls were
sleeping in the same bed as their parents on the second floor of the Main
Street building.
Heath Carey, a New Hampshire native, has an appointment with a
urologist at MetroWest Medical Center today. The surgery is scheduled for
Oct. 22. With the surgery expected to cost almost $7,000, Germain said the
couple has no idea how they will pay for it. They do not have medical
insurance.
"Whatever we have to do, we have to do," said Germain. She
and her husband, Paul, agreed to mortgage their Milford home if necessary.
Experts say vasectomy reversals have a great track record. Depending on
the patient's age, there's a 30 percent to 75 percent chance of pregnancy
after the reversal, an operation that takes more than two hours.
The younger the patient and the more recent the vasectomy, the higher
the chance for success, said Dr. Emanuel Friedman, a urologist with
private practices in Framingham and Natick. The graduate of Columbia
Medical School is also affiliated with MetroWest Medical Center.
"The success rate is very high, especially if the individual is in
their 20s or 30s," he said.
Friedman has performed a successful reversal on a 63-year-old
Connecticut man who underwent a vasectomy 35 years before. The man, whose
wife was 29, sent Friedman a picture of his newborn baby two years after
the reversal.
Vasectomies can be reversed because they do not stop the production of
sperm, Friedman said.
"The factory does not shut down," he said. "It continues
to produce."
The unused sperm is removed by a natural organism in the blood, and
frees up room for new sperm, Friedman said.
"It's kind of like Pac Man," Friedman said of the organism.
"It removes anything that's not needed."
Men who have their vasectomies reversed can successfully reproduce
within a year barring any fertility problems, Friedman said.
A vasectomy stops sperm from leaving a narrow duct in the testicle. A
surgeon divides the duct and ties it off.
Heath Carey decided to have a vasectomy after the birth of their second
daughter, Iris, on June 30, 1998. Violet was born on Nov. 29, 1996.
"They had two kids. They figured they were all set. Nowadays, you
know, you can't afford more than a few kids," Germain said. "Who
in the hell knew something like this would happen?"
Germain said Tara and Heath were incredible parents. Tara, a
27-year-old Milford native, nursed both girls until they were 21/2. The
couple brought the girls to work at their downtown Milford clothing store,
freakandfrolic.com, every day.
"They were very close," she said. "Those kids were with
them day in and day out."
The loss has destroyed Tara and Heath, who are living with the Germains
in Milford. The couple tried to get an apartment, but realized they were
not ready to live on their own.
"I see my daughter withering away and crying for her babies. It's
overbearing sometimes. She said, 'I wished I died with the girls.' She's
suffered so much," Germain said. "They're both just lost."
The Careys do not have the energy to work at their business and are
grateful for the donations that have helped them pay their bills, said
John Wozniak, their attorney. A Halloween-inspired clothing line has not
been as successful as the couple hoped, he said.
"The business is not doing well," Wozniak said.
Tara and Heath, who married on New Year's Eve in Boston almost five
years ago, rely on each other to get by, Germain said.
"They're soulmates. You're lucky in this world if you can find a
soulmate," she said. "It's in times like these that you realize
just how much someone loves you."
Memorial donations can be made out to the Violet and Iris Carey
Memorial Fund c/o Fleet Bank, 209 East Main St., Milford, MA 01757.
